Sundays are wonderful days.....days to sleep in and spend time with family and friends. It's supposed to be a day of rest. Mine was mostly restful, at least until 10:30 am. I hadn't actually intended to sleep so late. My alarm went off at 9:00 and I lazily turned it off with the intention of getting up a few minutes later....Rosie had a friend over and I lulled in the luxury of a bed all to myself! Small accomplishments today....Before leaving for Oak Harbor to run errands, I fixed food at home....normally, I would leave hungry and just eat in Oak Harbor. Why? That is the big question. Is it because I am addicted to fast food? Is it less hassle to drive thru and have someone else fix food for you? Definitely poor planning and perhaps just a nasty habit to get into. One of my biggest addictions to overcome is my love for COKE. I crave coke with lots of ice. It is the drug that I turn to when I am overwhelmed and stressed, which is an oddity in itself because the caffeine and the sugar do nothing but make me more hyped and over sensitive. I have tried all sorts of suggestions to reduce the habit.....(aye, there's the rub...I said "reduce" when it should be just "quit"!) I have said that I will never bring it into the house again which works for a couple of days; then I have tried saying that I can only drink coke when I am out....(I find all sorts of reasons to get out!) Coke is truly a drug for me and I can not make lame excuses any longer. I am a Coke-a-holic. There, I said it. I wonder if they have Coke-a-holics Anonymous. I do know they have an Overeaters Anonymous group up in Oak Harbor. I have checked on the dates several times but have never attended because I've convinced myself that I'm not that desperate yet. HELLO!!!! I have come to realize that I use food in an unhealthy way just like people use drugs in an unhealthy way. I suppose it's about control for me....(albeit a distorted sense of control)....I control what goes in my mouth and no one can stop me. Stop me from what? Eating myself to death? Abusing my body? Stuffing the feelings that I don't want to deal with? Amazingly enough, I never did drugs because I always wanted to be in control of my body and my actions (and I truly feared becoming addicted to anything that I tried!) Why then have I perverted the idea of control? It is good to be in control of your body, but not in a destructive kind of way; therefore, I must change this idea of control in my head to the positive version.
Another good note today.... I chose to walk for 20 minutes while waiting for Rosie during basketball practice. It was bitterly cold and I would have much rather stayed inside the warm car doing my knitting....I braved the cold for one quick walk around the outside of the gym and then took my walking inside. I have missed the feeling that your body gets when it has been properly worked. It's a good feeling....like your rest is well deserved because you have worked hard that day.
Today my rest is well deserved.
Love to all!
Ronetta
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3 comments:
Have a wonderful day, Ronetta. I see some pink in the sky, and I can see you taking a walk in it -- but maybe it's not pink then.
Deb, you are the bestest! We have to actually connect! I have been missing you!
Hi Ronetta, Good for you! I think food addictions are SO hard to overcome as they are usually from childhood. I'm also trying to lose weight and have been somewhat successful in replacing two meals a day with a high protein shake. However I still crave the sweet stuff. How about we handcuff ourselves together and I'll keep you away from coke and you hide the chocolate from me?
Hugs! Penny
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